Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Hello to All - Just a quick post to let you know that we survived Thanksgiving, but not without some war wounds, literally. Addi and I got to go back to the emergency room again Saturday night. She slipped off a chair (trying to get a bowl for ice cream) and banged her chin on the way down needing 5 stitches. I know, seriously, yes seriously. On the positive side things happen in 3 right? So we are doing right? On another note, I should have the award for Mother of the Year in the bag...please no other mothers need apply. Ugh
If I ever wondered who she was taking after accident prone wise...I know now, Bo. I never broke anything or needed stitches...a couple scratches and a stick to the head are my major scars.
Thank you all for the kind words this week. It will be a long week and it is hard to imagine it has been a year already without Bo. On one hand it feels like forever, then on another just yesterday. It wasn't lost on me that I took Addi to the same place, same day as I took Bo in for the final time...he was there with us I know, but I would rather not go back.
Love to All
Christi and Addi
PS - Her modeling career (haha) is still in full force, the stitches are under her chin where you can barely tell she has a band aid on them right now....
PSS - Whoever posted the quotes from Jimmy V, thank you. If ever two people spoke the same thing, it was Jimmy V and Bo...

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Hello to All - Well the holiday season is upon us and needless to say Addi and I approach this with mixed emotions. Most of the time we are wrapped up in the holiday spirit, I am and I do not hesitate this Thanksgiving when asked what I am grateful for, hands down, Addi. There is nothing more wonderful than her. I know I am biased, but God truly has always given the people to me that I need in my life. Addi is my everything. Now I know some people worry that I "too" involved with her. But I figure whatever it takes to keep moving and moving forward. So many times Bo and I pushed ourselves forward by telling each other that Addi deserves the best from us, so that is what we do. It doesn't hurt that on those days when I am missing Bo the most, I have bits and pieces of him in her. She emotes him like no other. Granted I might be looking for it, but she smiles his smile, she thinks she is funny like him, her laugh is his laugh and she "sells" it all day long.
Even tonight, when I was having a moment remembering last year and where we were, I was washing my face missing Bo and in walks Addi. Just in her underwear and winks at me as she goes into the bathroom, how do you not laugh out loud. Half Bo, half me, 100% Addi. She was teaching me how to do a front roll tonight...she said, Mom just picture yourself round and it is simple (now I think I heard that on some tv show) but coming from her and yes still just in her underwear, hilarious.
So this Thanksgiving I choose to think Bo would (probably be mad that we still miss him with every breath we take) but would want laughter, he would want craziness, he would want us to love on another. So it I don't say it enough Addi and I are Thankful for you all, those still reading, those still checking on us, those helping us keep Addi's Cure alive, those still praying, those still fighting cancer and those along with us choosing laughter with a few tears. As you watch the Jimmy V Classic coming up remember what Jimmy V said, "Never give up, Never Give up." (and as Bo finished, Go Heels!)
Love to All
Christi and Addi

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Hello to All - We are officially cast free! I have to tell you I have never been so proud of Addi. We went to the doctor on Friday and she was so brave. Getting the actual cast off didn't seem to be a big deal, she was so excited. Well that was until the took the cast off and the padding then saw 2 pins sticking out of her arm. That caused for a little tearing up and being afraid. I have to admit I was taken back also. I had convinced myself they were small like pencil lead, not! More like thin screws, ugh. I tried to hide my shock and focus on Addi. On top of seeing the screws it became clear why Addi complained that her cast hurt whenever she pumped it, she had soars where the screw hooks were bumping her arms...The doctor told us she couldn't do any more damage to her arm, he failed to mention that bumping the cast against her skin could cause sores.
So after the cast came off, we had to get x-rays before the screws could come out. She we wrapped the arm up, so Addi or myself couldn't see the pins. During the x-ray you could tell Addi was nervous, she didn't talk much and just wanted to hold my hand. The x-rays came back that things were healing great. The doctor was great and immediately talked to Addi and myself if she was a little nervous about getting the pins out. I was obviously talking to the doctor too much and in true "Bo" form Addi looked at the doctor when she asked, do you have any questions, "I just want the pins out." In other words, shut up Mom and let's get this over. I had to chuckle a little afterwards, flashes of her Dad.
Needless to say, those pins don't just slide out the doctor has to twist back and forth while pulling. You ask what was Addi doing, I could hear every other kids screaming down the hall, she just sat there focused while pin one came out and then pin two. Not one tear...I was in shock and I think the doctor was also. I mean this is the kid that looked on the verge when she saw the pins. The doctor asked her to go to the next room with her to show another little boy how to be brave also. She told Addi she was so impressed. I did ask Addi what was she thinking when the doctor took the pins out and she just told me, "I was trying to be brave Mommy." Oh world watch out for this little girl...
Needless to say, Mom took her to Build a Bear and we got Clarice the Reindeer and some ice cream before dinner. (Just like her Daddy would do...)
I finally have a couple pictures of the cast (thanks to Addi's teacher from school) I will refrain from posting the picture of the pins due to graphic nature. If you want to see them I can email them personally...haha
All our Love
Christi and Addi

Sunday, November 07, 2010

May you rest in Peace Uncle Mark - Heaven just got one amazing smile and man...
Love to All
Christi and Addi

Friday, November 05, 2010

Hello to All - It is so hard to believe that 11 months ago today Bo left us. At times I think back and it feels like yesterday. The emotions are so raw and I worry that maybe I am not processing, but then I know that I am. The loss is just that real and painful, for both of us. Then there are days like today I wonder where and what in the world have we been doing for 11 months...that is a long time. I think of all the changes Addi did her first year and think wow that was a long time. For her 2 month until Christmas is forever, 11 months and we are managing without him. I do know that this holiday season will probably be harder than last, the last one I think we were in shock and well I was determined not to let Addi but the time of year in association with his loss. We would celebrate and we will laugh, no one (other than myself) enjoyed this time of year than Bo. Wow 11 months...
With that being said October was an incredible month for Addi's Cure. Touch a Truck, 2 Golf Tournaments and we supported Lungstrong a race for Lung Cancer. But Addi took Addi's Cure literally, as in she needs some curing...a swallowed penny, broken arm and stomach bug...oh yeah did I forget to mention that one. Addi got sick on Halloween with the stomach virus and couldn't go trick or treating. She cried whenever the doorbell rang, which I thought when the light was off you left a house along (teenagers). She did bounce right back and was raring to go Monday (too late to trick or treat) but enough time to take of me who thought why don't I get that too! I didn't bounce back quite so fast needless to say, good diet plan...but I think I would rather keep those extra 5 pounds.
Well November will be what it will be at least we get the cast off...and I do hope to post of picture of it...oops!
I did want to send a request out for some prayers, first for our friend Jerrold. A fellow lung cancer and transplant warrior. May he get the right doctors to help him with his bump in the road.
And now for my dear Uncle Mark. He was diagnosed with lung cancer a month ago yesterday and due to some results has realized his body is failing him in his battle and is going home to rest and find peace. Uncle Mark is a man that has overcome more than any one person should in their entire lives, but never and I mean never did I see him without a smile on his face. He, whether he liked it or not was my date to many and I mean many cousin weddings...Seriously I have a 100 cousins on my mom's side, but he was there for probably every one of them supporting us and I am ashamed that we were not more attentive to when he might have needed us. You always knew Mark would be at your wedding smiling, laughing and dancing throughout the evening. Shoot he was there for any family event. He shows us how to cherish a family and I can only hope the family in Kansas reiterates how much him being there meant to every one of us and it wasn't unnoticed. I am proud of the man his is and honored that he is my Uncle. I can only hope he understands that our bodies can only do what they can do. Our heart and spirit always will fight and carry on it is just those mortal bodies... As I mentioned he proved that he is the strongest physically, mentally and spiritually that any one person could be. I do know that my Bo will be there to greet him with a Carolina hug, but selfishly, I hope he will remind my Bo I love him, miss him, and thank him for our time together. I hope they both know that.
Take care and Love to All - Especially You my Uncle Mark
Christi and Addi
PS - Please pray for my family, this has all happened so quickly that processing always seems to follow a little later. Understanding why this is happening isn't something we always get to learn, but trusting and knowing there is something greater gives much comfort. This is probably good time to remember the serenity prayer...
PSS - Please also pray these doctor find a cure, a treatment, a something for lung cancer. Today a huge step was published that CT Scans do help detect lung cancer, now for insurance companies to cover this and determine who the deem appropriate for the screening...small step, but at least they are in the right direction...