Hello to All - Well Addi and I made it through our first day "on our own". I put that in quotes because I know and she knows that we are well taken care of and looked after by everyone (in NC and far away) but with that being said, without family in the house and around. We are trying to find out "new normal". I wish I could say we did it gallantly, but to no avail. I think the weeks have caught up to us and tiredness did play a part, but there was a few tears, from both of us.
I think we both have a hard time accepting our new reality, but we know it our hearts Bo would want us to carry on. It is funny the things Addi says to me when she catches me in a sad moment (everything I say to her)
"Mommy I am still here."
"Mommy we are going to be alright."
"Mommy, Daddy is still in our hearts."
With that being said Addi did have the cutest (and heart wrenching) conversation after school on Monday, with herself and Daddy. She missed a birthday party on Saturday with the family in town, but Anna was sweet enough to give her a party favor, a small Christmas tree to decorate. Addi climbing into the car, this is our conversation
"Mommy, I can't wait to show Daddy how lucky I am."
I was thinking, oh no, again we are going to have to have the conversation that Daddy is in heaven. "Addi, how are you going to show Daddy your tree."
"Mommy, (with a little exasperation) Daddy is in my heart." Then she proceeded to lean the tree to her heart. "Daddy, Look how lucky I am."
Addi speaking for Bo, "Oh Sweetie, you are so lucky."
"Daddy, don't I have the best friends."
"Sweetie you are so special and I love you more than everyone, with Mommy."
I am trying not to let her see me cry, but I am just grateful this is how she remembers her Daddy talking to her and always calling her Sweetie.
Love to All
Christi and Addi
Praying for more rest and a day filled with love and happiness tomorrow.