Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Today I am home sick. Addi is sick as well. I think we both have the same thing. Christi took Addi to the doctor and she has bronchitis. I have really had a lot of time to think today, and I personally think this is bad. When you are laying in bed without anything to occupy your mind, you think about a lot of what ifs. While I am still very positive, I am worried about my family. It has not even been a year since I was told I was going to die soon, and I have already passed that point. I can not explain the feeling I have thinking that I may not be around to see Addi and Christi.

I think that everyone has a bad day once in awhile, and maybe this is mine. I do not feel defeated, just feel tired of having to think about it.

Christi is really been one of the best things that has happened to me. She has really been great about all of this. Most people really see me as the victim, but she is as well. I think she is really proud of me, but I am a lot more proud of the way she has handled this. Imagine if someone told you your significant other was going to die? Christi has built a life here in NC, but that life has me in all phases. I hope that when people pray for me, they also pray for Christi.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love the 3 of you! Feel better soon. Remember, everyone has bad days which just make the good days even better!

rachel

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your honesty. Having a bad day doesnt make you defeated just human. We continue to keep all of you in our thoughts and prayers.
Candace and Walker

Anonymous said...

Hang in there! You all are truly remarkable. Everyone is entitled to bad days. I hope you all feel better soon! Amy

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing, Bo. Don't worry...It's ok to feel tired and frustrated and scared. But remember, the power of prayers that are out there daily will not only heal your worried heart today, those prayers will fight your cancer too. God is with you every minute. The Dsm Prayer Warriors are praying for you, Christi, Addi and your entire family. Thanks again for sharing your heart with us. You are a remarkable person! --Lori

Anonymous said...

None of us can begin to understand what you and Christi are going through. You are amazing in your strength, love and attitude. Its hard not to curl up in a ball and have a little pity party once in a while but you really haven't done that. Even here on a rough day your aren't feeling sorry for yourself, you're just loving your family. That is such a gift to both of them. You are an amazing soul and you have given purpose and meaning to an otherwise awful situation. You have also been given a gift of new perspective in seeing and cherishing each and every moment with them and they with you.

The love Christi has for you radiates from her with such a glow. You are lucky to have each other and that will NEVER end! I am firmly convinced that you're going to be around to love her for years and years to come and every single day you will cherish and honor each other and that beautiful little girl of yours with eyes wide open to the reality that each day we all spend on this earth could be our last and to cherish it. You may be around for 20 or 30 years or more..I may get hit by a truck as I leave the office today. No one ever knows but you have the ability to cherish each kiss, hug, smile and moment with your loved ones.

It's okay to be melancholy and sentimental some days. Today for you it was being a bit under the weather.. some days for me it's just looking at photographs. Whatever the trigger, take some time to process these feelings and honor them. They are part of what makes you such an amazing man. Know that all of us have such days when we think of you and your battle and feelings like these are a part of honoring the love we all share as friends and family.
Feel better soon!
((()))

Anonymous said...

Bo, I only know you through others and by reading your blog. Your open spirit is a treasure for all. What a role model you are! The weight of the human experience can sometimes feel overwhelming and anyone in your situation who did not experience such feelings would be denying their humanity. The mystery of being a spiritual being can sometimes be down-right scary. Under such circumstances, the bigger picture often hids behind a veil of the unknown and rips at our soul. Obviously you love Christi and Addi deeply and they are very comforting to you. We are praying for all of you as you travel this road together. There is a sea of universal love out there for the taking.

Anonymous said...

Hey there! Sabrina forwarded me the information for your blog and I just wanted to let you know that I've been praying for you since I heard the news but wasn't sure how to get in touch. If anyone can beat this it's you! I read through the entire blog the other night, and saw a lot of familiar names. It's wonderful to hear that friends are doing well and have wonderful people to share their lives with, including you. Somedays Hendersonville seems like so many years ago and other days it seems like yesterday. The pictures of your family are beautiful and Addi is precious! Take care of yourself and keep your spirits up. You and your family are in my prayers!

Jennifer Pope

Anonymous said...

You and your family are truly an inspiration for all. You have turned a situation that would in most cases destroy a family, into something positive, and have handled it with integrity and grace. Someone fowarded me a quote today, and I want to share it with you:

If God brings you to it, He will see you through it.

Feel Better Soon!
Candi

Anonymous said...

You are allowed to have a down day. Just know that we are all still thinking and praying for you, Christi and Addi. You are our family and we love you dearly. We also admire the fight you are coutinuing to give for yourself and for all of us. Keep up the good work.

Your sister-in-law in Iowa,
Crystal

Anonymous said...

I have prayed for your ENTIRE family from the beginning and I will contine to do so. Actually my whole office prays your family every morning in our office prayer.I know all to well that this affects the whole family. May God bless you with many many more days with your wonderful family.
CG